SPEAK UP

 Well, I am a very outspoken person. This means that I rub off people the wrong way most of the times. Well, just people that love playing the dodgy game with me as that is something I can not accommodate. What is more unfortunate is if I communicate my disapproval via writing... NOT PRETTY. 

See, my dad is a disciplinarian, a teacher, scientist and psychologist all in one breath! A brilliant mind. He was brought up by an equally intelligent woman; The great WaChege who was sarcastic to a tee enough to make you want to unalive yourself if by any chance she smelled daft in your breath. She was a nurse then became a teacher later then a home maker seeing that her husband went to fight in the second world war. This trait has been passed down from generation to generation till I got the gene. See, WaChege named me. I was to be called Gathoni just like her but she said I am not a Muthoni to the family! I am the matriarch! First of my name in our family and named me Wakini after her own people of The Great Lands of Kirinyaga. WaChege would give you one answer to your stupid question and you would wish yourself death instantly. You could never lie to that woman nor play games with her. It's like she had studied psychology major hence dissected your personality, demeanor and lies all in seconds and put you in your place. All but two of my dad's siblings inherited these traits. That was one remarkable woman and I am not just saying that because her blood runs in my veins.  

So, when I was young during the December holidays; 80% of my December holidays were spent at WaChege's home in Nyeri. Those are some of the most remarkable memories I carry dear to date and forever. My cousin Wakini and I were playing near the Kihingo(gate), this woman carrying a baby on her back clearly looking distressed approaches us and beckons  to call for her one of our twin uncles. We did not know how to tell them apart so we called the wrong twin. He came, took one look at the woman and knew it was his twin brother in hot soup. At the time, we did not know what was going on so we continued to play. This seemingly wrong twin went to call the right one and one look to the Kihingo from WaChege's compound which was about 350 metres away, dude decides to run for his life and goes to hide behind the house. This woman disrupts us yet again from our play to go call her our uncle. we oblige. We run off and call the wrong twin again but says hes not the one we should call his brother who is hiding behind the house. Bear in mind WaChege sees all this. We go behind the house and our dear uncle runs off again. He assumes we are playing hide and seek. We run off chasing after him. WaChege at this point walks off to the Kihingo to speak to the lady and walks back majestically, heads to the kitchen and  picks Michinga(flaming firewood) and heads to the shamba singing a famous kikuyu song.... Onaoria ararira aigua niuramutiga, aigu uramute tundu ena mwana, tiga kumute muhikie muikaranie, ,wahota kwerehera munyaka mucie... by this time, she has located all of us and goes ahead to give my uncle a serious berating with the michinga! Not sure how he wasn't set on fire... but with the bruises, dirt and all, he was set to go meet this woman. this whole time WaChege was singing this song. Phenomenal woman she was! Side note, I came to meet the baby on the back as my cousin years later. Her Name is Jedi Njoki. sad, she would have been a Wakini as well but my uncle being who he is, denied this beautiful lassie a chance for her to share in these splendid December Holidays. Anyhue, that was my grandmother y'all! Chilled, smart, witty... I should write more about her. She encouraged us especially the girls to speak up and take up space! She did not take lightly women and children being spoken down on. She believed everyone had a voice and no matter how old you were, discipline was not foreign and would deliver it hot from the kitchen.

As for my dad, he raised me up knowing what was wrong and wright, to question everything, to take up space, to not accept unfair treatment directed to me and others, to stand up for my rights. This would bite him in the ass various times as I would use it against him more times than I could count. See, my dad is the smartest in their family... his siblings keep saying so. Closely followed by the 5th born, 4th born and 3rd born all sarcastic to a tee! With the worst of them being my favourite, Dad Dave the 3rd born when it comes to satire and sarcasm! Boy this one would have sent you to an early grave and the fact that he is my favourite tells you the kind of people I had to learn from as a kid.. Boy am I forever indebted to these awesome souls! I was raised by men and very strong women my mom included who showed me I need to take up space and be heard! Seen. At one point, my dad gave me more chores than my brother had. See, we were given weekly allowances paid every Saturday to our accounts at HFCK Bank and banking slips brought home for us to file in our individual files these allowances directly balanced with the chores we did. I soon came to realise my brother's account was being credited more money than mine yet I was doing double and sometimes triple the chores. I questioned, dad said I was the girl hence should do the chores. Good people, all hell broke lose and I stopped doing even the ones I was previously allocated without the additions and demanded for my money. After all, workload in ought to be directly proportional to the money credited regardless of my gender. I simple question I asked, 'Did I ask to be born a girl?' My parents got mad but! They could not fault me why? They taught me to speak up when injustices happen. I did and made the whole extended family privy to this. i am sure some thought we were completely spoilt especially because we had a nanny who did all the hard chores. Long story short, I led a one girl strike, I stopped doing all my chores and since our nanny had been told never to touch any of our chores, mine fell behind and the whole family suffered. Am emergency family meeting was called and all was restored and money withheld was deposited to my account and I resumed my previous chores having categorically telling my parents I am in no way accepting additional chores until I am ready to trust them again. That was basically the type of relationship I had with my parents when growing up. We point out wrongs and see how best to sort them out... mostly worked. Other times not so much.

Fast forward I am now a grown up. I am met with friends that do not want to be asked questions, bosses that do not want to be asked for clarifications as whatever they are barking doesn't make sense, men that will want to tower over me and bully and boss me around with their chauvinistic behaviourisms, met with landlords that fall back on basic tenant needs and when asked they become aggressive. The whole time I stand my ground. i mean, if you are not used to being questioned when a wrong has been made by you... how is that my problem? I call that a whole load of crap and no way I will take that sitting down. I will look you straight in the eyes and tell you off. dad calls its bullshit and says I do not tolerate it. He raised me that way. To be strong and defend myself and beliefs. Do not get me wrong, I apologise when wrong and I will make amends. People should normalise realising the wrongs they're doing, play their part in amending the wrongs. I currently have a landlord that does not want to be corrected when wrong. You will be sitting in your house with no lights, sink dripping, broken door... nothing! Will not flinch and when you call, he avoids your calls or sends his wife to control the situation. When someone calls to ask for a service do not control the situation by calling other people to it. NO! Sort it out by having a handy man to sort out the issue. Then, apparently I am the only vocal person here and has slowly made others vocal. this is not going down well with them seeing that before, people would live through shitty services. I moved here and everyone has slowly been asking and fighting for their rights. i do not understand how you pay for services but you are muted when it comes to questions asked when the said services are way below par. well, Dad Dave and WaChege would be rolling in their graves if I was to accept anything but optimum services. Papa Bear once told a previous landlord I had... she was lucky she was dealing with me and not my brother as he is nuts! He would have broken down the gate. Wakini is more civil and understanding... he said. Only problem with me is, I am patient until I am not then I confront you and you do not want the confrontation be on text because.... Writers write! Words are swords and they cut deep. 

So people, know that some of us are pretty outspoken and will not be bystanders in our own lives. Dad calls me a human rights activists. I can not help myself. If you are a boss, be a fair boss, provide for your workers adequately. Same as a Landlord. These people are not begging for your money or services. It is their intellect and money respectively that brought them there. Honour that. Do your part in making their stay a pleasant one.Let us try to be better people guys. its only right.