LOSS

 LOSS

I recently lost a very special person in my life. Actually, today is his funeral. It hits differently when you lose someone you loved, shared your life with to a point of planning a future. We broke up before the 'future' came to pass but we remained close. The thing about loss is that it leaves you with his deep aching hole inside of you. This deep pain and a feeling of being stranded not knowing how to proceed. Loss brings back all the memories in floods that you can not quite bar off. Loss makes you think and look inwards and realise you have always been missing a lego- A piece of you. You have not been complete in a while. 

This loss was a beginning and an end to many things in my life. An end to the fact that I had lost all self worth for a while, no self love. A beginning to accept the fact that I need to appreciate who I am, my capabilities and no one should tell me otherwise... see, I was sinking. I had been for a while truth be told. I got a life line some time back but you know about life lines.. you can only hold on for so long. Yes! I'm in pain that a dear person has passed away. His death has taught me what self worth is! What it means by setting goals and going for them! Sticking to passions! 

Oh boy was Thiaka a go getter! He thought of something and went for it! He created a way in thickets. There is nothing that was quite impossible to him and that vigor lifted me up so many times when we were together. It is through his death that I have realised the power within. The immense passion everyone tends to see. The drive. I wish he was here to speak these words to me as they would have hit home... as they always did like a sharp sword. I sure wish that we all did not have to lose him. But through his death, we have all learnt a thing or two about ourselves as he did always teach us in life and now he is in death. 

It's funny! I started this blog when we were dating. I was so determined at the time... I got side tracked. Now? I am furnishing it in his death. I know people die but their spirits linger on. The tears I have shed throughout the week, the hurt I have felt, the love I have remembered... All this goes to show how this special human being was. Polite, commanded respect when he entered a room even though he was the most humble people you could find. A fun guy, with the most soulful hearty laughters you will ever encounter, sweet soulful voice, eyes that could dig the truth out of you and bring out your soul. Honest, smart, intelligent, full of heart and love. He truly was one of a kind. 

Senior Inspector Manasseh  Isaack Thiaka, thank you for being a light to this world, to your friends, to your family and loved ones. Thank you for the teachings. I will forever be grateful for the time we spent, lessons I learnt and the ones I will continue learning. Thank you for maintaining a friendship with me even after our future did not come to pass. Thank you for the new lease of life. See you in the spirit world my dear.

Befitting tribute to a befitting soul.